Go to main contentsGo to search barGo to main menu
Friday, April 24, 2026 at 11:32 PM
Ad

Dysfunction Junction -- Valentine's Day: A little History a Little Humor

Dysfunction Junction -- Valentine's Day: A little History a Little Humor

What day is often as equally dreaded as anticipated? And what day single-handedly has the power to fill both grown men and elementary school girls with interminable levels of fear and trepidation? And on what day is it completely acceptable – nay, expected, to send veritable strangers politically and socially incorrect demands like “Kiss Me” on candy hearts? St. Valentines Day, of course.   

Believe it or not, the modern mid-February holiday that has become synonymous with ribbons, roses, and romance is also the day that centuries ago was also rife with red, but of an entirely darker sort.

According to historical data (History.com), Valentine's Day arose from a Christian effort to replace a 6th-century Roman pagan fertility festival, “Lupercalia." During the festival, dogs and goats would be sacrificed. Women would then be slapped or smacked with the blood-drenched hides as a fertility blessing. As legend has it, the women would later put their names in an urn to be selected and paired with a man for a year. Unsurprisingly, this has recently been proven to be moderately more effective than online dating and requires less cleanup. 

A less graphic historical note places two men, both named Valentine, at the heart of St. Valentine’s Day. There is no clear evidence as to which one, as both men could have inspired the holiday. The first Valentine, a 3rd-century Roman priest, defied the Roman Emperor Claudius II and his ban on marriage for soldiers during wartime. Claudius believed marriage was a distraction to young soldiers. Valentine secretly performed illegal marriages “in the spirit of love” until he was discovered and sentenced to death (purportedly on February 14th). The second Valentine was imprisoned for attempting to help Roman Christians escape from prison. Legend says that he sent the first valentine message to himself, writing a letter signed, “From your Valentine.” He too was sentenced to death. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, the possibility of imprisonment remains at the heart of the holiday.

By the close of the 5th century, Pope Gelasius of Rome officially declared February 14th as St. Valentine’s Day. It would be several centuries, however, before romance would become associated with the day. The declaration instead was born out of the common belief that in England and France, birds started mating on February 14th. Yes, the mating habits of birds.

There is some historical information that in 1537 King Henry VIII, with six wives to his credit (or discredit depending on the wife), proclaimed by Royal Charter that Valentine’s Day would be a public holiday and chose that day to be February 14th. Facts to this remain unverified, however, one should again note the potential for death by beheading.

It was not until the 15th century that the first valentine was sent. While imprisoned in the Tower of London at age 21, a French duke wrote a love poem to his wife. His verse read, “I am already sick of love, My very gentle Valentine." (Darn you Autocorrect! Sick with love darling, sick with love). Note: imprisonment was also a factor here. 

The evolution of Valentine’s Day is a long one. While some people started exchanging handwritten letters and cards in the 17th century, it was not until the 1840s when Valentine’s Day cards were commercially produced. Known as the “Mother of the American Valentine”, Esther A. Howland’s cards, decked out in lace and ribbon, helped pave the way for what would become a multi-billion-dollar industry. And by this time in human history, Valentine’s Day was also becoming less fatal.

Massive spending aside, it is hard to think of Valentine’s Day without thinking about chocolate. The year 1861 brought the first heart-shaped box of chocolates, created by Richard Cadbury. It is unlikely that Cadbury could have imagined that 58 million pounds of chocolate, tucked away in heart-shaped boxes, would be sold in a single year. Nor can we forget to mention conversational hearts. A Boston pharmacist, who was in the business of making throat lozenges, invented a machine that simplified how they were made. According to History.com, the pharmacist was soon using his invention to make candy instead. In 1866, his brother started printing messages on the candy. Of course, they were larger back then and held messages less socially awkward like Married in white, you have chosen right and How long shall I have to wait? Please be considerate.

So as February 14th comes and goes and you contemplate the meaning of St. Valentine’s Day, do not let its dark past discourage you from sharing the day with the one you love. Its history and traditions may be steeped in rituals that involve being smacked with animal hides, death, and imprisonment, but what a better cause than LOVE? And yes, of course, this holiday has been grossly commercialized, but again I ask you, what better cause than for love?

In the wise words of Charles Schulz, "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

 

References: www.history.com, https://bit.ly/3d6D3IC

 


Share
Rate

Comment

Comments

April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 1
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 2
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 3
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 4
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 5
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 6
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 7
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 8
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 9
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 10
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 11
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 12
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 13
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 14
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 15
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 16
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 17
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 18
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 1Page no. 1
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 2Page no. 2
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 3Page no. 3
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 4Page no. 4
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 5Page no. 5
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 6Page no. 6
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 7Page no. 7
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 8Page no. 8
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 9Page no. 9
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 10Page no. 10
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 11Page no. 11
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 12Page no. 12
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 13Page no. 13
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 14Page no. 14
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 15Page no. 15
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 16Page no. 16
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 17Page no. 17
April 24, 2026 - Commissioners Appoint Lee Orozco  - page 18Page no. 18
COMMENTS
Comment author: A Van LeuvenComment text: 3 points 1. That increase is almost double ,which is ridiculous for cattle producers to pay . 2. A cost analysis should be created so we can see what is reasonable cost for that pasture. 3.the tenants of that pasture Have not changed for years .I think they need to open it up for all eligible applicants in Churchill County!Comment publication date: 4/23/26, 9:25 AMComment source: Ranchers Push Back as NDOW Nearly Doubles Carson Pasture Grazing FeesComment author: David KittleComment text: I praise the Lord that you are now in your heavenly home and no longer in pain. I am glad that we were once friends 😄⛪️💐Comment publication date: 4/22/26, 11:13 PMComment source: Sophia Katherine BehimerComment author: Uncle Ed & Aunt BettyComment text: To the Behimer Family. We are deeply saddened by the loss of Sophie. We still remember her from your visit to Edmonton when Sophie was just a little girl. I can still see her standing on the sidewalk beside your car and waving madly with a big smile as if she’d always known us and we were now best friends. We are so thankful to know a deep faith runs through your family and you know that Sophie is freed from her pain and is at home with her Lord and Saviour. May God grant all of you the peace and comfort that only God can give during this time of grief.Comment publication date: 4/20/26, 4:05 PMComment source: Sophia Katherine BehimerComment author: ThughesComment text: Thanks to all who came and stood up ! Thanks for the community showing your support and honking. Its a shame Judge Trotter wasn't there to take us seriously. He didn't have the courage to speak to those in the croud . Do better Trotter.Comment publication date: 4/19/26, 5:52 PMComment source: Fallon Residents Protest No-Bail Releases
SUPPORT OUR WORK