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Monday, March 30, 2026 at 8:29 PM

Dysfunction Junction -- Unicorns, Peppermint, and Walmart at Christmas

Dysfunction Junction -- Unicorns, Peppermint, and Walmart at Christmas
Leanna Lehman

I want to send a huge and weirdly nonsensical apology to the tall guy with the beard. I better clarify. Last week, I did my usual grocery order and I included peppermint extract. Walmart emailed me and told me that they, in fact, did not have any. Crushed, I resolved myself to go inside the building. Desperation has no limits, my friend. 

So, I girded my loins and raced inside. Walmart has been known to tell me they were out of an item, after which I go inside and find one if not several of the very things, they said they didn’t have.  

This was a peppermint extract emergency, though. Braving the careening carts, beastly children, and freshly baked goodies, I made my way to the baking aisle. And there I was, staring at an empty spot where the greatly coveted peppermint extract should have been. Despite being crestfallen, I executed an act of extreme shopping bravado. I stepped back so I could see the top shelf that soared feet over my head. Ah ha! I struck gold. In the pretty red and white box, there it was - peppermint extract.  

Much to my delight and surprise, a very tall, bearded gentleman was also perusing the extracts. I say that as if it’s a perfectly normal, everyday occurrence in my life - either of those. I politely asked him if he would reach the box for me. I had visions of scaling the lower shelves to retrieve my prize, but pretty much every scenario ended in embarrassment or injury. Probably both. “Help someone! I have had a peppermint extracting injury….”  

The very nice gentleman happily agreed, saying, “Oh, there it is. I need peppermint extract, too.” We locked eyes in dismay. There was only one. Then, we conversed about the impossibility of using mint. “I am making peppermint pinwheels,” he said. I expertly concealed my absolute shock. He did not tell me his wife was making them, or his girlfriend, or his mother. He was making them. Okay, yes. You can find a unicorn at Walmart. Pretending I was not flabbergasted, I said, “Oh, I am making peppermint bark.” Sadly, we are at a loss and one of us would have to go to Safeway. 

Being the kind gentleman he was, he relinquished the coveted elixir and delicately placed it in my cart, and we said our sad farewells. “That’s okay,” he said, with a ring of concealed sorrow, “I have to go over there anyway.”  

Chivalry is not dead. 

Feeling somewhat disappointed that there were not two bottles of peppermint extract, I set my mind to the task of appreciating both his kindness and apparent baking skills. When I arrive at home, I place my treasured item next to the other ingredients I had unpacked to make my Christmas treat. But what before my wondering eyes did appear? But a tiny box of peppermint extract in my Walmart order. Seriously. 

Not only did I now have two boxes which take about five years to utilize, but I robbed a lovely man of part of his afternoon. Then worried Safeway was out as well. Spearmint pinwheels just don’t sound the same. 

But it makes a great story. 

Local girl Leanna Lehman writes, edits, and various other tasks as assigned... for The Fallon Post, makes bad jokes and loves what she does.   

 

 


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Gordon Tolson 12/30/2025 09:58 AM
Chivalry is not dead. It is on Life Support,

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COMMENTS
Comment author: BonnieComment text: Good Luck to all of you. I mean this sincerely. My family fought the Navy for years. My parents owned Horse Creek (Pat and Linda Dempsey). They strung them along for years until they had no financial choice but to accept and get out. My Dad even hauled water for the Snow ranch trying to stay afloat. May God bless you all. I truly pray it works out for you.Comment publication date: 3/28/26, 9:22 PMComment source: Local Rancher Says Navy Land Expansion is Devastating His Family RanchComment author: Lynn JohnsonComment text: I remember your mother well; she was a lovely and kind woman. I loved hanging out at your home on Sheckler Road where she was always warm and welcoming.Comment publication date: 3/27/26, 7:12 PMComment source: June Irene Manhire (Pendarvis), née DriggsComment author: EvaComment text: Grandpa, I find myself wondering about you every so often. I see glimpses of your face in the years worn onto my dad. It makes me feel more connected to you in some way. I remember the familiar kindness from you that I know in my dad. I would’ve really liked to have a good conversation. I only have a handful of memories with you, but you were loving, and you were kind. I wish I was able to say more. If I am someone to you, I hope I make you proud. Thank you Aunt for this sweet post.Comment publication date: 3/27/26, 12:11 AMComment source: Obituary -- Randolph Floris Banovich C Comment author: RBCComment text: The Navy should reimburse the market cost of replacing the grazing land they are taking. Period.Comment publication date: 3/26/26, 10:38 AMComment source: Local Rancher Says Navy Land Expansion is Devastating His Family Ranch
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