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Wednesday, July 30, 2025 at 1:16 PM

Loving Someone with Mental Illness -- A Mother's Tale

Loving Someone with Mental Illness -- A Mother's Tale

Many people struggle with mental illness. Many other people struggle to love them. Loving someone with mental illness is an unending and painful rollercoaster ride with no end in sight. Mental illness can be hard to identify and even harder to diagnose, not because a clinician is not capable of diagnosing a mental illness but because, for the most part, someone with mental illness may not believe they have a problem and can reject help. Having a mental illness is not against the law, however, most of the time getting help requires legal intervention. As a therapist, you have the ability and legal obligation to hold someone in protective care for 72 hours. But the hold is the last resort and should only be used as a means to prevent someone from suicide or homicide. Only a licensed professional has the ability to do this and must justify the hold. Families of persons with mental illness do not have the ability to hold an adult without their consent.

If you love someone with a mental illness you may struggle for years before your loved one gets help. Such is the case of an acquaintance of mine who gave me permission to tell her story. I will call her Jill and she has 2 sons. Her oldest was in his 20s, engaged to be married, had a great job, and was purchasing his first home when schizophrenia struck. Within months he lost everything, while Jill struggled to get him help, he became homeless and estranged from the family.

This is Jill’s story of loving her son.

“The complications of schizophrenia…where do I start? Watching your loved one diminish into nothing but a hollow soul and lose everything they have worked so hard for was the hardest thing. Watching is all you can do because when they are over 21, there is nothing you can do, especially with the legal system’s failure. Hearing that your son was arrested for auto theft because he stole a semi-truck and thought he was on a yacht, frightening (he only served jail time and was never sent for an evaluation). Hearing that your son was arrested for arson for lighting a dumpster on fire because he was burning things he didn’t want “them” to see, frightening (again jail time only and still no evaluation).

Taking your son groceries and getting physically attacked and having to testify against him so he would be held in jail longer, so you know that he’s in a safe place, excruciating. Watching your son’s face sink in because he won’t eat because he thinks his food is poisoned, heart-wrenching. There are so many other terrifying and heartbreaking instances. But then, when he is finally sent off for help (because as a mom you throw a fit and have it out with the ER doctor out of anger and desperation for help) and he returns a whole new person, never again to be 100%, but so much better is priceless. Having him over for dinner and holidays and conversing with him, priceless. Having him text you when you are out of town telling you how much he misses you, priceless. Having your son back as a loving and functioning person is a feeling like no other. The emotional rollercoaster as a mother, going through this with your son is excruciating. The most important thing is to never, never, give up hope…never give up hope.

“And tonight, I’m in the ER with him…it appears he may have stopped taking his antipsychotic medication and has spiraled somewhat. I’ve been noticing small changes but just thought it was anxiety related. They say he had so much anxiety and sleep deprivation that it put him over the edge. I’m an emotional mess and my heart is breaking… He’s been taking his medications after all…”

Schizophrenia is a complicated mental illness that presents itself in thousands of ways. The criteria and diagnosis are clearly defined. Getting someone in for an assessment is difficult when they are an adult because after all, it’s not against the law to be mentally ill.

 

 


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Comment author: Mike HinzComment text: I knew Sam as a member of our church growing up. He always had a warm smile, a kind word, and a great sense of humor! He will be great missed!Comment publication date: 7/2/25, 11:57 AMComment source: Obituary -- Samuel Bruce WickizerComment author: Mike HinzComment text: Great teacher, great coach, but even a better person!!! Rest in peace Mr. BeachComment publication date: 7/2/25, 11:53 AMComment source: Obituary -- Jack Victor Beach, Jr.Comment author: Mike HinzComment text: I had Mrs Hedges for First Grade at Northside Elementary in 1969. I still, to this day, remember her as a wonderful teacherโ€ฆone of my favorites!!Comment publication date: 7/2/25, 11:29 AMComment source: Obituary - Nancy Marie Hedges C Comment author: Carl C. HagenComment text: What are MFNs and PBMs ?? ............................ From the editor: This is a very good question and we apologize for not catching that wasn't in there. We reached out to the writer/submitter and got this info back...hope it's helpful. PBM: Pharmacy Benefit Managers are pharmacies that are owned by insurance companies. (CVS is one.) They negotiate with drug makers to get reduced pricing for medications, but they historically have not passed along those savings to patients. https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/pharmacy-benefit-managers-staff-report.pdf MFN: Most Favored Nation pricing is a policy that means a country agrees to offer the same trade concessions (like tariffs or price reductions) to all member nations of the World Trade Organization (WTO). When applied to pharmaceuticals, it could disrupt global access, deter innovation, and obscure the deeper systemic issues in American health care. https://petrieflom.law.harvard.edu/2025/05/22/the-global-risks-of-americas-most-favored-nation-drug-pricing-policy/Comment publication date: 6/23/25, 7:47 AMComment source: L E T T E R TO THE EDITOR
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