Silence Please - Billy K. Baker on Language

The following is a continuation of an earlier article titled, “It’s a Wonder.”

English is certainly a rich language. Why so? Because we English-men toss letters away like so much confetti.

It seems every other word has a silent E. Okay; that’s an exaggeration, but consider the title words of this topic. I do concede that silent E may serve a purpose, telling us how to pronounce the preceding non-silent vowel. For example, it might keep people from pronouncing “case” as if it were spelled “cass.”

I’m less charitable toward double letters. Who really needs the extra G in “exaggeration” or the extra D in “shudder”? I could be wrong, though. It’s not hard to imagine somebody trying to pronounce “shuder” as if it rhymed with “shooter.”

Just for fun, I’ll finish with a word where every letter is silent, indicated here by an asterisk (*) for each silent letter. Presumably, such a word is unpronounceable; make that non-pronounceable.

The word I’m thinking of is “bagged,” pronounced “******.” Here’s how I spell it:

​B​using the B in “debt” ​A​using the A in “clear” or “dread” or … ​G​using the G in “gnaw” or “gnome” or … ​G​using the G in “impugn” or “paradigm” ​E​using the E in “bye” ​D​using the first D in “Wednesday”

So, next time you’re asked to read the word “bagged” aloud, you can keep your mouth shut—a suggestion I’ve often heard.

By the way, whatever happened to the P in “cupboard, the T in “ballet,” the W in “answer,” the N in “column,” or the C in “scene” (also “scissors” etc.)?

Another thought: E may be silent at the end of words, but it can be mighty loud elsewhere. Take, for example, how E shouts down the A in “dear,” the I in “lien” and the O in “people.” Of course, A gains revenge by taking over the E in “ballet.”

Ghost Writing

While the previous topic discusses letters that are present but not pronounced, there are also ghostly letters—pronounced but not present. Take, for example, the ghostly word “SHAKER” formed as follows:

S​ as in “accede” H ​as in “fissure” A​ as in “cherry” K​ as in “tachometer” ER ​as in “colonel”

We could consider the Z in “xenon” (chemical element, atomic number 54), but that particular Z isn’t strictly a ghost. It’s more an imposter, disguising itself as an X.

Indecision is a Terrible Thing

The previous two topics made me aware of another oddity about English pronunciation—paired vowels can be indecisive. Consider just a few cases:

EA​ as in “knead” vs. “thread” vs. “bear” IE​ as in “friend” vs. “fiend” vs. “spied” EI​ as in “sleigh” vs. “caffeine” vs. “albeit” vs. “stein” OE ​as in “amoeba” vs. “canoe” vs. “poet”

Considering all this, I ask you: How does a foreigner ever learn to speak our language? It’s a wonder!