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Friday, March 27, 2026 at 3:03 AM

A Feral Housewife's Weekly Horoscopes

A Feral Housewife's Weekly Horoscopes

 

Capricorn- Deceember 22 - January 19

Do the dang thing; you are going to be able to shockingly master details of the ideas that you are coming up with this week. You can actually visualize the entire project coming together from idea to end, so take advantage of it! You are going to be hyper focused on getting things done and those around you will not be able to take their eyes off you for it. 

 

Aquarius- January 20 - February 19

    The world is your oyster, go ahead and explore! That natural instinct to learn about those around you and the things that they are interested in will lead you to new experiences. You will be a positive pearl in the lives of those around you this week. When you have the urge to sit and overanalyze, don’t let yourself go there. You will need to take a break and spend time working through your thoughts and emotions but don’t get stuck in the muck.

 

Pisces-February 20 - March 20

Fight for yourself and others. People will be trying to paint you into a corner this week with financial and legal matters. You will need to make a point to stand up for those around you who cannot stand up for themselves. While you juggle all these demands keep a look out for conflicts and demands and try to strike a balance between it all. 

 

Aries- March 21 - April 10

   You don’t always have to win. As this week kicks off, make an effort to put others first. Yes this will lead to you being wrapped up in your own thoughts but that won’t be the worst thing.  This weekend you will be back to your jovial old self! Be ready for some unexpected assistance in your latest venture.

 

Taurus- April 21 - May 20

  As you feel buried in the chaos of life, be ready for those around you to pick you back up. Emotions run amuck and you will feel overwhelmed with jealousy but don’t let it take over, you will suffer if you act upon it. Woo those around you with charm to get them to see things from your perspective, just make sure to stop and do the same for them.  

 

Gemini- May 21 - June 20

WHOA NELLY! Slow down -- these hyper creative thoughts need to be jotted down before they flit away. Eventually you will get around to dealing with the details. Keep a lookout for snakes in the grass, hidden agendas can bite you before you even see them. Being assertive is acceptable but make sure you aren’t cruel. 

 

Cancer- June 21 - July 22

  Emotions are leading the way, things will be rocky at home but having some grace will help navigate these land mines. You are going to struggle to make up your mind and stick with the plan. Make sure that you take the weekend to yourself; you will need to be able to work through some personal feelings. 

 

Leo-July 22 - August 22

You will move mountains this week; people are going to be falling over their own feet to get close to you as you create a movement. Start strong by leading the way through whatever the adventure will be.  Your gut knows best, don’t ignore that instinct to question the motives of those around you. Work to help someone in need this weekend, you want to plant that great karma.

 

Virgo- August 23 - September 22

SPLURGE is the name of the game this week. As much as you want to make a splash be careful you don’t have a tsunami! You have some serious creative flow working in you; don’t try to stop the flow. Ride this wave as far as you can. When you think slowing down is the best option, trust the process you don’t want to rush things after all. 

 

Libra-September 23 - October 22

   Hot damn, you got it going on! You are as fierce as you feel right now; use it to your advantage. When the financial fairies strike, use that focus and determination to make sure that you are on track for the long term.  You will be juggling a million things at once toward the end of the week and even as crazy as it might seem, you will handle it all with grace. 

 

Scorpio- October 23 - November 22

  Slow down, it is acceptable to continue to be introspective and sit on ideas for a while before you act. Those admirers are ogling you for the magnetism you are oozing; you can use that to your advantage. Be careful of risks that present themselves this week, they are not going to end well no matter who is presenting them to you. 

 

Sagittarius- November 23 - December21

   You have to just take a moment and sit with yourself, there will be some unexpected emotional turmoil that you need to sort out. You have a lot of people rooting you on, so much so they are willing to help make these dreams come true. Make sure to take time to live it up with them. You have some amazing ideas, use them. 

Alicia Parsons grew up in Yerington and has been a dishwasher, teacher’s aide, patient care representative, and debt collector, before landing her current and favorite gig as a feral housewife to Trevor and card-carrying mother-of-the-year to three-and-a-half-year-old Rhett.


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COMMENTS
Comment author: Nicole GalbraithComment text: Farren - I just saw that you aren’t here with us. I am completely in shock! I met you and hung out with you so many years ago with Jer, and Eden. I honestly can’t believe you are gone…..you were a wonderful human being, with a HUGE heart and soul. Hearing this makes my heart break! You are forever in our hearts, and I can say I feel blessed that I was able to know you! Rest easy sweet Farren xoxoComment publication date: 3/23/26, 12:30 PMComment source: Obituary- Farren CrosslandComment author: Tiffany LundleeComment text: I will miss you so very much Bryan. It was always fun visiting you guys. And always talking about what Jon and Aaron use to do as goofy teenagers I will miss you very muchComment publication date: 3/21/26, 12:12 PMComment source: Bryan Taylor Anderson C Comment author: Carl C. HagenComment text: A wonderful tribute. Thank you Kelli Kelly.Comment publication date: 3/21/26, 8:12 AMComment source: In memorium -- The Melon ManComment author: Bob SondgrothComment text: There are times when you should just know about someone. Who and what they REALLY were. Because they were devotional and IMPORTANT to the humans they connected with. The content of their life bled so that others could feel their own life’s importance. Teachers of justifiable life and art. That all can absorb and use as the best fertilizer for THEIR lives. Giving the silent secrets and the loud guidance. The Melon Man was a perfect specimen for how to devote. His passing meant a life book of feeling/knowing what gives other humans their paths to Love and Knowledge. Some humans are meant to show others their paths. And in that they secrete ways to profitably exist.Comment publication date: 3/18/26, 4:50 PMComment source: In memorium -- The Melon Man
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