(Note: Like many of my works, the piece that follows is almost certainly not original. I have a hazy recollection of seeing it, or something like it, on TV many years, probably decades ago. Original or not, I hope you enjoy it.)

A magician enters the stage wearing a tuxedo and top hat. He quickly sets up a little folding table.

“Ladies and gentleman, I’m here to mystify you. To prove there’s no trickery, notice that I have nothing up my sleeves.”

He pulls up a sleeve and some device falls to the floor. Looking down a long moment, he says, “I wondered where that went.”

Continuing his act, “And there’s nothing in my hat.”

He removes the hat, revealing a large, fake spider on his head. “Oh, there you are.”

“This is my pet tarantula, Oscar. Don’t be afraid, ladies and gentlemen, Oscar wouldn’t hurt a fly. … Well-llll …” He sets Oscar on the table and puts his hat back on.

“… As I said, there’s nothing in my hat,” removing it again. A large mechanized frog appears on top of his head, jumping to the floor. The magician puts his hat on again.

“Now there’s nothing in my hat,” taking it off, revealing another frog, which hops to the floor as he restores the hat.

He keeps putting the hat on and taking it off, frog after frog appearing. “I just hate it when an act goes Biblical.” Looking up toward Heaven, he says, “Look! If you don’t like my act just say so. Deliver a bolt of lightning or thunder or something. Give me a sign.”

A big placard drops down from the ceiling. It bears the message, “GET OFF THE STAGE.”

The magician does a double take, gathers his equipment, and gives a cursory bow. The bow is interrupted by a clap of thunder. He looks up again. “I’m going. I’m going.” Then he exits the stage.

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