Halloween Horoscopes

  • 2022-10-28, 10:49 AM (update 2022-10-28, 11:32 AM)
  • Rebekah Dahl
Halloween Horoscopes

Happy Halloween! A perfect night to dress up and express your personality aesthetically through makeup and costume. A night for intimate parties, lively conversation, and fun! What will you be tonight? Your perfect monster, or your rebellious shadow side? Let’s get dressed for the party! Your sign’s light and dark costumes… (catch the karma if you can)


Aries: A goblin: determined to have a wild night, paints a mischievous grin on his face, loads his bag with tricks, and chuckles all the way to the party, thinking: whoever eats the deviled eggs is sure in for a surprise. Or… The Grimm Reaper: bored and frustrated with the mortal fools he can’t understand why people seem to be avoiding him. Decides to go stalk the vampire.


Taurus: A Mummy: front yard party, feeling peacefully content wrapped in the laughter and chatter of friends and family while handing out candy. Or…A Troll: crouched behind his 1965 Ford Mustang with a carton of eggs ready to give it back to the hooligans that T.P.’d his house AND car last year.


Cancer: A Witch Doctor: travels to the otherworld and brings back cures and council for the guests. Advises against throwing pumpkins this night. Or… A Ghost: floats in the corner feeling lonely and invisible, maybe she’ll go haunt a friend for spooks and giggles. 


Gemini: Black Cat: perceiving everything, watching and observing. And of course the center of attention with your charisma and wit. Everyone wants to pet you. Or… Headless Horseman: so many parties, so little time. All action - no plan, ends up throwing flaming pumpkins for amusement.


Leo: Clown: the life of the party, you aim to entertain and have fun! A night for festive laughter. And someone needs to save the crowd from the “brain eating” jokes. Or… A Voodoo Doll: thought it would be funny in a self depreciating kind of way, but everyone that walks by kicks, pinches, or pokes her. Not fun.


Virgo: Scarecrow: sacrifices going to the party in order to chaperone the kids trick-or-treating (and scare away the bullies). Ends up having a blast. Or… A Skeleton: afraid to dress up as anything other than her true inner essence, devours her brain and ends up telling self depreciating jokes about how the mind is a terrible thing to taste.


Libra: Frankenstein: holds the event together among a patchwork of ideas, opinions and perspectives all the while maintaining harmony in a perfectly lively party. Or… Zombie: can’t choose who to dance with, he’ll just wait by the punch bowl and attack anyone who drinks more than their fair share. Ends up eating too many deviled eggs out of boredom.


Scorpio: A Fortune Teller: fascinating an intimate group of friends with occult knowledge, reading their future, and sharing her personal transformation story. Or… A Vampire: primal instincts high, she suspects some of the guests are vampire hunters ready to drive a stake through her heart. Eternally thirsty, insatiably hungry - she’ll drink too much and sleep like the dead. (Dear Aunt Cathy’s ghost told her to avoid the deviled eggs).


Sagittarius: A Werewolf: a treasure hunt themed party in the woods. High adventure, good times. Stops to help Little Red Riding Hood and ends up talking until dawn. Or… Little Red Riding Hood: trusts the Werewolf in the woods for directions, gets lost, meets up with a Witch and ends up talking until dawn. Interrupted by a flaming pumpkin hurtling through the starry night.


Capricorn: A Wizard: enchants the guests by enacting parables of wisdom through magic acts, then disappears in a puff of smoke. Spends the rest of the evening out back, under the stars, enjoying his spiced cider in solitude. Or… Medusa: has her tentacles of knowledge in every conversation, slithering into a position of authority. Looking for anyone who disagrees so she can turn them into stone. Torments the human Voodoo Doll every time they cross paths.


Aquarius: A Mad Scientist: concocts fizzing drinks of vibrant colors that emit a melody that matches the one who drinks it. The potion liberates the guests of their inhibitions, sets them free to express their true individuality. Best. Dance. Party. Ever. Or… A Gargoyle: climbs atop a speaker tower, crouches ominously over the crowd and sees a flock of sheep. The guests have nightmares that night, haunted by the empty stare of the Gargoyle.


Pisces: A Witch: stirring her cauldron in the corner, guests gathered around mesmerized by the visions she conjures out of the vapors. Everyone wants a glimpse of the magic. Or… The Devil:  gorges on deviled eggs, downs too many of the Mad Scientist cocktails, dances like a maniac, and then sees who she can tempt to go T.P. her ex-boyfriend’s Ford Mustang. Again.


Rebekah Dahl



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